STMA: Sheet Music

This is the fifth review in a series of posts about books for married men.

Sheet Music, by Kevin Leman, is an interesting book to review since it deals with marriage exclusively through sex. This is perfect if you are newlyweds, or if your marriage needs some “BAM! Kick it up a notch!”; however, it’s not a book for anyone who’s more than a week away from marriage. That said, the review will be G-rated (and rather short since the book certainly isn’t!). Leman describes the book best in chapter one when he writes, “It’s not just a how-to-do-it manual… [it’s] a do-it-yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better.”

The things you need to know about this book are threefold:

  1. Dr. Leman is all for great sex. His book provides a lot of encouragement for both parties to work towards a fulfilling sexual relationship as God intended it - in the context of marriage.
  2. It gives a basic primer for men and women who are about to get married and don’t know a thing about their spouse-to-be’s body, and continues with “after the honeymoon” chapters about growing into a committed sexual relationship with your spouse.
  3. It provides a host of direction for getting past most of the common reasons that most couples’ fire eventually fades somewhat, and again, lots of encouragement to work towards reestablishing chemistry and the fulfillment of marriage.

I want to offer a few cautions about the book as well.

  1. Dr. Leman is all for great sex. Yes, I said that already. But if you’re not up for completely frank discussion, don’t even bother. Or actually, do bother, because the book will probably do you and your spouse a lot of good!
  2. The book, like all books, shares its author’s opinions. Among a few other points, I do not agree with Dr. Leman when he writes that masturbation is permissible and even valuable for both partners. I try to be open when I’m reading, but nothing in the book convinced me. Temper what you read with your own knowledge, experience, and convictions (and that applies to any book).
  3. Again, the book is only for married couples, or those about to be married. You may have noticed that I’ve italicized marriage in each of the first three points above; that’s because I do agree with Leman when he writes, “Any sexual experience outside of marriage is ultimately destructive.”

I’ve only been married for a whole month and a half, so I’m certainly in no position to comment on the writings of a man who’s been married for longer than I’ve been alive, but from my extremely limited experience, I’d recommend the book to any married couple and just tell them to have fun!